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Desperate Malaysians can save money on gas/petrol by mastering Hypermiling

Yes! Yes! I got wonderful news for desperate Malaysians who were caught with their pants, skirts, ‘sarees’ and ‘baju kurungs’ down in the recent June 2008’s fuel price hike!

Desperate Malaysians can now save their cars petrol/gas mileage simply by mastering the ancient art of Hypermiling! ;-)

What the heck is Hypermiling anyway, you might ask. Well, Hypermiling is the bizarre art of driving that is full of trickery; others may say that it is the fine art of making skillful changes in normal car driving. Whatever the definition is, the objective is the same, to give drivers the opportunity to save on gas/petrol, get more mileage and cope with the rising fuel prices.

Sounds ridiculous to me what let’s see what those Hypermiling experts have to say about this.


What is Hypermiling?

Dangers of Hypermiling

If you are interested in mastering Hypermiling and piss off other world-famously known impatient Malaysian drivers cum speed demons with your new bizarre driving style, here are some practical Hypermiling tips for you:

  • Do not use your brakes regularly.
  • Do not make abrupt stops at the traffic lights. Ease off your foot from the pedal and let it stop naturally (if you can!).
  • Do not push the pedal to the metal upon seeing green lights. Do it nicely and slowly as if you are a genuine exemplary driver.
  • Do not drive over 80 km/h.
  • If you are going downhill or going down a highway ramp, free your gear, go for neutral, turn off your engine and take full advantage of the forces of gravity. This is really dangerous but if you are desperate to save gas/petrol, try this tip but make sure that you have dug your own grave plot somewhere before doing this. I’m really serious! Ohh… Make sure that you are waving the Malaysian flag and shouting ‘Malaysia Boleh’ while doing this too.
  • Do not switch on your air conditioning unit. You also cannot open your car windows. Opening your car windows will only produce more drag and that will consume more gas/petrol. Since Malaysia is pretty hot, Malaysian males can drive their cars simply by wearing sleeveless ‘Pagoda’ t-shirts and cute boxer shorts. Malaysian ladies on the other hand can stick with their exiting dress codes; you can now have your own hot steaming sauna right in your car! How lucky Malaysian ladies are! :-)

Now that you know what Hypermiling is all about and what it can do for you, do you wonder why our government or our mainstream news media and television new channels did not mention anything about it to all Malaysians?

See, I told you so many times already. Don’t expect our current government and our filthy rich plus extremely greedy business community to have mercy on you. They don’t give a damn about you. You are just a puny sponge full of money and they will get you and squeeze every single cent out of you! This is what capitalism is all about, Malaysians. You have chosen it and now you are paying the price. Are you happy? :-)

Disclaimer: Malay Women in Malaysia does not endorse Hypermiling. You agree that any use you make of such content is at your own risk and that Malay Women in Malaysia is not responsible for any losses resulting from your reliance on any content on this post. All content available through or in connection with this post is informational only and provided "as is" without warranties, representations, or guarantees of any kind.
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1 comments:

Solar Stories said...

Hi - I think it's great that you are promoting hypermiling!

One point - you should definitely use your brakes when necessary to avoid an accident! But it's good to avoid stop-and-go traffic, or speeding up to a traffic light and then slamming on the brakes.

Safety always comes first.

July 1, 2008 at 7:38 PM

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