How to walk out as the next winner or champion of Akademi Fantasia?

All right folks, I got exclusive news today and I simply have to share this with my fellow readers. For non-Malaysians, I’ll bet that you have never heard of Akademi Fantasia before and perhaps it would be best if I explain a thing or two about it before going any further.

Akademi Fantasia is a highly popular reality TV show among the Malaysian Malays (especially among Malaysian Malay women (wanita Melayu)). It is something like American Idol, the difference is that Akademi Fantasia is much worst than the former because most of their participants are Malaysian Malay Moslems (muslims)! This is the TV show that has millions of Malaysian Malays from teenagers, parents and grandparents (Yeah, even grandmas and granddads too) stuck glued to their television sets ogling at young boys and girls in body hugging and tight fitting outfits on stage with lust every weekends without fail! Pathetic!

I had the opportunity to chat online with a well known Malaysian showbiz reporter earlier today and she has disclosed to me a few features that every participants of Akademi Fantasia must have in order to be considered as potential champions. All right, let’s not waste any more of your time today. According to her, if you or your child is interested in participating in Akademi Fantasia, either one of you must have the following winning features:

• Good looking for guys and cute or pretty looking for girls. If you or your child sports a thick moustache or beard, please shave them off right this instant. Participants that look as if they are some Islamic religious teachers or preachers would never be winners in Akademi Fantasia!
• Must have great bodily features! Boys and girls with nice looking bums or booties would attract winning attention from viewers and judges. Learn to display those bodily assets by wearing body hugging and tight fitting outfits. Make everyone’s eyeballs popped out with pleasure!
• Must know hundreds of dance steps and moves! You must not look like some dead mannequin on stage. Yet, please don’t overdo it. Else you would look like Charlie Chaplin live on national TV! Don’t forget to flash your bodily assets to viewers and judges as you dance the night away!
• Must have that guy-or-girl-next-door type of attitude! Even if you or your child is actually a monster, you can easily fool viewers and judges by pretending to be nice on stage. Don’t blow your cover!
• Last but not least, aspiring Akademi Fantasia’s champion must know the art of sweet talking. You must have the ability to sweet talk viewers and judges live on stage. Mastering this skill today would later enable you to give sweet excuses to save your neck from any hairy situations! A definite life saver!
  

As we have all suspected, you don’t really need real talent to walk out as a winner in Akademi Fantasia. My source has exposed all the necessary secrets! Use them wisely and if you’re lucky, you may one day find yourself as the next champion of Akademi Fantasia!

If you are still not sure whether you or your child has that winning materials, compare yourself or your child with the guy featured in the following video. If you or your child is better looking, got nicer bums and can dance better than him, you have the right stuff all right! Good luck and all the best. :-P

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